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Bollywood Cliches

If you were addicted to Bollywood movies in the 80s and 90s, if you waited for Chitrahaar like your life depended on it, if you drove past drive-in theatres slowly to guess which movie is going on, if you bought filmstar posters from Dadar station, you will surely relate to some of these clichés:

  1. If you saw a movie poster with 2 Lead Actors and 1 Lead actress or vice versa, you would know that one of the two would have to be killed in the end. And in most cases it would be with an impeccable timing by just appearing in front of a bullet directed at his/ her love.
  2. In the fights, the hero always had to be beaten up first and then miraculously he finds the strength and the skills to beat the shit out of the opponent. Sometimes after an urging cry by his Ma or Beloved.
  3. If a hero was from a poor family, his name was always Raja
  4. If the lead actor is a twin, they had to be diametrically opposite. The Super shy and the super bold
  5. The non-lead actresses (sisters especially) would have the sole role of always being a lachaar victim of either rape, dowry or death. And do you recall those Rape scenes, they were characterized by the villain tearing off the actress’s sleeve and Bhagvaan ke liye mujhe chod do.
  6. The audience always wanted a happy ending. If the movie’s end was sad, you always heard stories that the film makers are planning to change the ending.
  7. You waited till the end of credits after ‘The End’ to see another movie’s end, the one on which the new movie was recorded on VHS tape.
  8. If the plot gave no opportunity to show hero and heroine dancing to a song, there had to be a dream sequence to show them dancing in a song
  9. The Hero always had to be a mama’s boy. Oh wait that’s true for all movies even today.
  10. The lead actress always had only 2 characteristics – innocence (read dumb) and stubbornness. There was no third layer to her. Absolutely Zilch.
  11. The hero would reach the climax scene breaking walls with his jeep or flying in his bike or with a crocodile on his head. And just before he gets the kill, the Mother or Lover is brought as hostage. Abhi drama baaki hai mere dost.
  12. Climax fight scenes had to have goofy humour in them. Just fights were not good enough.
  13. Women centric movies had to be about woman taking revenge. Can you think of any other?
  14. If the hero was a Gunda, he had to give away all his money for the poor and needy
  15. Part of the reason why you saw those Horror movies was because of the sleazy sex scenes

So have I have been able to partly rekindle the totally dramatic and larger than life Bollywood era for you?